


Bad Idea

by dearzoemurphy



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, One Shot, but this is kinda venty, i apologize for the angst, idk honestly, songfic kinda??, takes place during You Will Be Found
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-05 01:26:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12180207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearzoemurphy/pseuds/dearzoemurphy
Summary: Oh, if only her heart would stop racing. This could only make worse what was already really bad.Or alternatively titled; Zoe Murphy can't catch a break.Inspired by the song Bad Idea from Waitress.





	Bad Idea

Zoe knew he was lying. When he said Connor loved her, she knew he was full of shit. She yelled that to him to get him to leave her room. She hated him. She hated that he could just waltz into her family and get all of their attention and affection with his blatant, toxic lies. She hated that he seemed to feel entitled to everything he was getting. But what she quickly realized is that she didn’t hate him as much as she hated how she was drawn to him. She was so drawn to his aura, to his own tragic story. She hated how easily she got lost in his beautiful blue eyes. She hated how she secretly hoped that he would show up at their doorstep each evening, and was disappointed when he didn’t. She hated how she was actually beginning to believe him. Maybe Connor was just lost. Maybe he didn’t know how to connect with her. Maybe he didn’t deserve her hatred. Maybe Evan didn’t either.

 

* * *

 

 

Zoe watched his speech for the twentieth time, tears pouring down her face. She sobbed, wishing she could speak to Connor one last time, wishing her life wasn’t so broken, wishing Evan was there beside her. Then, as if she was in a dream, he appeared in her doorway. She looked up and let out a sob upon looking into his own tearful eyes. 

 

“Everything you said in your speech, everything you’ve done you don’t know how much- what you’ve given all of us, everyone, my family, me,” she stammered, fighting back sobs.

 

“No, this just-” Evan tried to interject.

 

“You’ve given me my brother back,” she said, quietly, then leaned in and caressed the side of his face, giving him a gentle kiss. 

 

Evan flinched and backed away, fidgeting with his cast and looking down. Zoe’s heart stopped. This couldn’t end like this. She was in too deep, she couldn’t take another disappointment. A fresh round of tears began to well up in her eyes when he suddenly turned and looked at her. A few moments later, one of his arms was embracing her tightly, the other resting on her face as he kissed her back with a fiery passion. Thousands of thoughts ran through Zoe’s mind all at once. When he broke apart from her for a few moments, she realized how she hated how much she really did love him. She hated how much she needed him. He was something stable to hold onto but at the same time, something new and exciting. Oh, if only her heart would stop racing. This could only make worse what was already really bad. But she lost all self-control. She enthusiastically responded to Evan, grabbing him and holding onto him as if he was the only thing left in the world. She kissed him deeper, more passionately than she knew was possible. 

 

She knew this might be a mistake. She knew that this could only end so well. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she still knew he was lying.

 

But fuck it, she needed a bad idea. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I was writing the fifth chapter of the Jared fic when I got distracted with the idea for a continuation to the Zoevan "Connor is alive" AU when I got distracted by the idea for this, and I just had it write it down, sorry for the uncharacteristic angst.
> 
> Another alternate title for this would be I Heavily Relate to Zoe Murphy and Bring Out Some Elements of Her Character that Match Mine When I Write Her as a Way of Venting lmao.
> 
> Anyway, as always, please leave any comments or constructive criticism below!! Seriously, any and all comments and kudos help get me through the week.


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